Chowdah's Definitions

In the style of Joy of Sox and other blogs, I've decided to create a glossary of terms that may or may not be used in my writing. It will be updated when the need arises.

Aftermath- Spanish 1 Honors

Happy Feet- Felix Pie, because Felix is Latin for happy and Pie is Spanish for foot.

Minor League Axis of Evil- Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, because the Yankees' AAA team is the SWB Yanks and the Pens' AHL affiliate is the WBS Penguins.

RIITOT- It's not a Finnish word, it stands for Random Idea I'm Throwing Out There.

SNG (Sameish Name Guy)- Niklas Backstrom, the Wild's goalie, who coincidentally is Finnish. (Helpful link that no, I did not create)

Soxitals/Yankguins- All that is good/evil.

An SNG visual aid (which upon posting I realized was a bit cut off. Oh well.)

Oreo Magic

I'm back! I was gonna post a baseball story I wrote back in (I think) 5th grade, but it was probably deleted years ago. (Hmmm.... 5th grade? Maybe I did care about sports before middle school...) [update 12/30: actually, it may have been 7th grade, but who gives a crap?] Anyway, a while back I wrote a parody of "Orioles Magic", an old O's anthem. As the title suggests, it's about Oreos.

Something magic happens

when you eat them up

You make the magic happen,

the magic of oreo cookies

When it's time for a snack

and you want oreos

There's a thundering roar from your tummy

to eat all you've got

And you never know

how many that you'll eat

When you eat one, you want more,

that's the magic of oreo cookies

Oreo Magic! Feel it happen!

Oreo Magic! Feel it happen!

O-R-E-O-S!

Magic! Magic! Magic! Magic!

Something magic happens

when you eat them up

You make the magic happen,

the magic of oreo cookies

When you tear open the pack

and you eat them up

Nothing could be more exciting,

nothing could be more fun!

There's a love affair

between you and oreos

There's a reason you eat oreos

It's 'cause you know what the magic means

Oreo Magic! Feel it happen (x4)

O-R-E-O-S!

Magic! (x4)

Oreo Magic! Feel it happen!

Magic! (x4)

Something magic happens...

Awesomeness

Yesterday, I was at Sunday School and saw an awesome poster lying around. Ya see, I'm a student aide in the 3rd grade Hebrew class, which meets in what is a social studies classroom during the week. (Coincidentally, the high school where my Sunday School meets is my actual high school- so I go there 6 days a week). While aiding, I noticed a poster with some Capitals pictures on it. I'm pretty sure it was a project for a sociology class, and here's what it said:

(In big letters): OVECHKIN
Tribe: Emveepea
Clan: Eagle
Primary Food Source: Penguins
Housing: Verizon Center
Weapons: Slap Shot and Wrister
Colors: Red and Blue
Clothing: #8 Jersey

I have no idea what the requirements for the project were, but this deserves an A. For Awesome. And since I left a complementary sticky note with my name and grade- maybe, just maybe, I could get an interview (but probably not, especially since I don't personally know the person who made it, and she's not in my grade)

[Update 10/27: The project (for a class/unit about Native Americans) was to pick a real Indian and fill out the above categories. After doing that project, the student made a Caps-themed one because the teacher is a Penguins fan. The poster I saw lying on the shelf is a year or two old; the teacher kept it, and the girl who made it has since gone on to college.]

Random Idea I'm Throwing Out There: Ump Tourney

Ironically, this was used on insidesocal.com last April. April! It's not from this postseason, but from APRIL! Then again, umps get villainized regardless of month.  

Well, the MLB playoffs aren't going too well. And not just because my Red Sox got swept and the hated Yankees are in the World Series (and on that note, Go Phils!). There have been a lot of blown calls this postseason, and the issue has gotten a lot of media attention. Everyone knows (and has to accept) that umps are human and thus not perfect, but there do seem to have been a relatively high number of bad calls lately. With something as important as a championship on the line (as well as all the media coverage and scrutiny that comes along with the playoffs), Major League Baseball has taken action- they've changed the World Series umpiring crew to have umps with more experience.

This brings up an idea- what about having the best umps in the regular season call playoff games, the same way that the best teams make the postseason? Instant replay and strike zone technologies can be used to evaluate umps, so how 'bout sending the most consistent/accurate regular season umpires to the postseason crews? (Of course, it's not that simple, but the main idea sounds okay in theory) And it doesn't even have to stop there- the best umps during a particular round of the playoffs could go on to call the next round (except that 3-7 games is a way too small sample size for umps).

Do these ideas sound ridiculous? Or does this seem like it could be plausible after necessary minor (and major) details are worked out? And why am I asking questions on a blog that hardly anyone reads?  

Fun With Google Translate, Part 1 of ?

Today's edition of FWGT focuses on sports quotes, and what happens when they're translated to (I dunno, let's say German) and back a few times. (Quotes from BrainyQuote)

"We talked to the referees before the game; there's always new situations to adjust, for the refs and for us as well. Even on the ice, it's good for players to talk and interact with the referee." --Peter Bondra
Translated to German and back once- "We spoke with the referee before the game, there are always new situations to adapt to the referee and also for us. Also on the ice, it's good for players to talk and interact with the referee."

Okay, so that's pretty close to the original. Let's try another:


Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. --Yogi Berra
Translated to Finnish and back once- "Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they will not come to you."
Twice- same translation

"A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore." --Yogi Berra
Icelandic and back once- "A nickel is not worth a dime anymore."

Wow. The translation is more grammatically correct than the original.

"We picked the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something that loses for 86 years, you're a pretty good fan. You don't have to win everything to be a fan of something." --Jimmy Fallon
Greek and back once- "We chose the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something lost for 86 years, you are very good fan. We need to win everything to be a fan of something."
Twice- "We chose the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something lost for 86 years, will be very good fan. We can win everything to be a fan of something."

Well, that definitely changed the meaning of the last sentence.

And last: "You know, a lot of people say they didn't want to die until the Red Sox won the World Series. Well, there could be a lot of busy ambulances tomorrow." --Johnny "Benedict" Damon 
Hindi and back once- "You know, a lot of people say they win the World Series until red sox did not want to die. Well, there could be a very busy ambulances tomorrow."
Twice- "You know, a lot of people say they win the World Series until the red sox did not want to die. Okay, there could be a very busy ambulances tomorrow."

Wait- I win the World Series until the Red Sox don't want to die? What?!?

"The Leval-Shelay Devices", Complete Version

(When I originally posted this story, I didn't know how to add a "jump". So here's the story in its entirety, because splitting it up can make it kinda confusing to read.)

Fun With Baseball Reference: Sox Hitters

B-R is a great source for interesting* (and most likely, true) facts about baseball players. Without further ado, here are some things you may not have known about the Red Sox:

Jacoby Ellsbury: He's (usually) our leadoff hitter, so he might as well be first. Fun facts: his middle name is McCabe, some Yankees fans sponsor his page with the message "Almost as good as Brett Gardner.", and he was originally drafted by Tampa. WHAT? It's true- he was their 23rd round pick in '02, but didn't sign. And it worked out well- he went from 23rd round to 23rd overall (and his uniform # is 46, which is twice that. COINCIDENCE? Almost certainly.)
Dustin Pedroia: There aren't too many obscure facts on his page, except that his middle name is Luis. (I didn't know that)
Kevin Youkilis: Not much to be found here, either.
David Ortiz: Was a PTBNL in a trade between the Mariners and Twins in '96. One of his nicknames is apparently "Cookie Monster", and his full name is David Americo (Arias) Ortiz.
Jason Bay: He's been traded a lot, but I don't think that counts as an obscure fact. Middle name=Raymond.
J.D. Drew: Was once traded for Jason Marquis and Adam Wainwright. J.D. actually stands for David Jonathan.
Jason Varitek: Has been as high as 21st in AL MVP voting. Middle name Andrew. Batted 1.000 in 1997 (take that, Mauer!) in one plate appearence (never mind).
Victor Martinez: Middle name is Jesus, and he's from Ciudad Bolivar (A city named after Simon Bolivar, a historical figure that I started [but didn't finish] a school project on last year), Venezuela.
Mike Lowell: I don't feel like looking it up, but he might possibly be the most famous FIU alum. Was originally drafted by the Yankees and played in 8 games for them.

I didn't include any shortstops- perhaps that's a topic for a different post.....(maybe).....

*or not

"The Leval-Shelay Devices", Part 5

(The fifth and final installment. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4)


In History class, they had once had a lesson about a war that had taken place in ancient times. Long ago, Turner Hills and Shale Valley had been rival villages. After Shale Valley attempted to invade, a war broke out between them and Turner Hills. All anyone knows about what happened next is that Turner Hills won and that the people of Shale Valley were never seen again.


Devin ran into the building, yelling that Shale Valley had returned and that they were, in fact, far more technologically advanced than Turner Hills. He went on and on about how they had all been tricked and that they needed to get out of the building while they still could. To Devin’s frustration, no one seemed to be paying any attention. He kept on yelling, but then, with every single citizen of Turner Hills trapped inside, the doors slid shut.

Now it was apparent to everyone what had been happening. That Shale Valley had sent them the devices, and Turner Hills had played exactly into their hands. The voice announced to everyone what they had already figured out. “Shale Valley reigns supreme!”

The metal chamber started slowly moving out of the village until it reached a place in the middle of nowhere. “Welcome to the site of the new Shale Valley” the voice spoke. Devin, who was standing by a window, was one of the first to notice the giant hole in the ground that was just the right size for the prison chamber. The moving chamber reached the hole and started sinking into the ground. As the earth on the other side of the windows rose, the screams died down to stunned silence. Everyone felt guilty or responsible somehow.

Devin stood solemnly by the window, aware of the layers of earth on the other side. In the pitch black, he heard a voice calling his name. It was Julienne. She was begging for forgiveness. Devin coldly told her that sorry was just a word. It wasn’t just words that had led to this, and it was too late for words or anything to save them. In the darkness, he imagined the look on her face and hoped she’d understood. Then, just when things seemed to be at the bitter end, a thought occurred to Devin that brought a smile to his face and a twinkle to his brown eyes, even in the suffocating darkness. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he was equal to everyone else. Just another doomed prisoner.



Erica stared out the window as her ninth grade history teacher taught the lesson that Erica and most everyone else in her village knew by heart. As Mr. Selvin explained how Shale Valley had won the Great Battle, Erica knew she wasn’t going to learn anything she really wanted to know. Erica believed that there was much more to the story, if it was even true, than was taught in the schools of Shale Valley. Despite her skepticism, she had a feeling deep down that the answers were out there, and that she needed to find them.

Wishing Aaron Boone Well

I don't hate Aaron Boone. Maybe it's because he played for my NL team, the Nats last year. But it's probably because I was just an innocent eight-year-old who didn't follow sports back in October of 2003. At the time, I wasn't even aware of what had happened. Now, I'm a die-hard Sox fan. I understand how heartbreaking that walkoff was to Red Sox Nation (Joffrey Lupul, anyone?), but nothing can give me the experience of having lived through it. (Though that also means that I'll never feel the full joy of those who were Sox fans in '04).

I've always felt that Boone was a guy who was in the right place at the right time (or wrong place, from the perspective of the Sox). Not a superstar, but just some player on the Yanks who made a name for himself in baseball history with his walk-off homer. And on the positive side, he helped make the '04 World Series win all the more sweeter. (Okay, that was bad grammar, but I don't have school until Monday. Cut me some slack.) Aaron Boone had no control over the events that led up to his home run, and anyone else (on either team) could have won the game. He was just a baseball player doing his job.

And now, despite many odds against him, he's coming back. He's been on a minor league rehab stint, and he'll join the Astros when rosters expand. Boone had open-heart surgery before the season because of a condition he had that had gotten to the point where it was too risky to not operate. His overcoming of obstacles should be an inspiration to us all. Walkoffs aside, he's a guy from a great baseball family whose love of the game keeps him coming back, and he's had a pretty decent career (with more to come, if all goes well). Red Sox fans, Yankees fans, Astros fans, and baseball fans and people in general should respect his determination. Love him or hate him, he's back. Again. Good luck, Aaron.

(MLB.com- Boone excited for return to big leagues)

Linky Goodness 8/29

• Do you think Pete Rose has suffered enough and should be reinstated? Or do you think he deserves more punishment and should be reinstated? (Deadspin) 
• It's official- Kazmir to the Angels. (MLB)
• Remember Matt Joyce? You know, the guy the Rays traded for in the Edwin Jackson deal? Well, he had a big game, and is having a pretty good season. (MiLB)
• I can't believe it took me so long to find this! (MLB)
• And last, ever wonder about the commentary in sports video games? (Kotaku via Deadspin)

Okay, that's not much. But expect a post about an, ummm...., old friend sometime soon.

"The Leval-Shelay Devices", Part 4

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)


Over the next four weeks that led up to the start of school, it was becoming more and more apparent that the devices were now a way of life in Turner Hills. Devin and Julienne persisted in trying to get the devices back, but to no avail.


By the first day of school, Devin had pretty much given up hope of convincing his parents to change their minds. They were adamant in their decision. At the Turner Hills School, Devin was starting 8th grade and Julienne was starting 10th. Julienne fit in well enough, but Devin had few friends. He was usually an introverted outcast who was tormented by other kids. Because he was already the only one who didn’t seem to have life easy, everyone knowing he didn’t have a device only made things worse. He walked through the hallway while some stared, others laughed, and many whispered. Devin had grown used to this treatment and didn’t react. As he scanned the crowd of the same hostile faces in a new grade, he saw Nick. The look on Nick’s face seemed to say, “I wish I could help.” Devin went over to Nick and told him that there was no way to help and that everything was fine. Neither of them believed that for a second.

Life went on as usual until one day in the middle of October. At about noon, when Devin was in school, all the devices suddenly deactivated. The citizens of Turner Hills had become so accustomed to the devices that people freaked out and society came to a standstill. A booming male voice announced that everyone needed to gather in the center of town right away. The first thing Devin saw when he Zapped over to Town Center was a large, mysterious building that had not been there before. It was a very plain, metal building with windows, a door, and a sign reading, “Leval-Shelay.” The voice announced that for the devices to be reactivated, everyone would have to crowd inside the building.

For some reason, Julienne went in too while Julien and Thelma chased after her, trying to get her out. Devin just stood outside the building staring at the Leval-Shelay sign. And then it happened- it was just for a moment, but his mind had rearranged the letters in Leval-Shelay to spell “Shale Valley.” Upon this realization, Devin knew that everyone was in extreme danger.

(Part 5 tomorrow)

"The Leval-Shelay Devices", Part 3

(The third installment of the story. Part 1, Part 2.)


Devin pressed the features icon and what popped up was a typepad and a blank list. He wasn’t sure what to do, so he typed “camera” on the first line and selected what he had written. Devin realized that he had turned the device into a camera. He was intrigued, so he typed “X-ray” into the second box and selected it. Amazingly, the device started taking detailed photos of the bones in his hands.


Later, while still testing the capabilities of the device (they were literally infinite), his sister Julienne walked into the room and demanded to know what was going on. He angrily told her that she’d find out by looking in her mail pile. She found her device and was immediately as captivated by it as Devin. Devin realized that for the moment, Julienne’s love of the device was overriding her hatred of him. For an instant, Devin had a glimmer of hope that maybe everything would work out in the end.

Devin and Julienne stayed up late to show their parents the devices. As expected, Julien and Thelma Rayburn were exhausted and angry that their kids weren’t in bed. What the kids didn’t expect was their parents’ reaction: snatching up all four devices and locking them away in the safe in their room.

A stunned Devin asked his father why he had done that, and Julien’s answer was surprising, yet somehow not. “Devin, I’m sorry, but something just doesn’t seem right. Your mother and I have a bad feeling about those devices. Now you and Julienne need to get to bed. It’s late.”

And just like that, Devin’s faint hopes of a normal life were extinguished. Things were back to the way they were before. Devin’s sister still blamed everything (including this) on him. Devin’s paranoid parents were still ruining his life. And Devin was still miserable.

(part 4 tomorrow)

"The Leval-Shelay Devices", Part 2

(The second installment of the science fiction story I wrote in 8th grade English class. Part 1 here)


Devin thought nothing of this message because in the very modern village of Turner Hills, pretty much anything was possible. Maybe except for Devin’s life being normal. However, the phrase would turn out to have significance. On the screen now were two icons. One was contacts and the other was features. Under contacts was a list of everyone in Turner Hills. Some names were in blue while others were grey. He scrolled down to his family and saw that only his name was blue. He (correctly) assumed that the people whose names were in blue had activated their devices. He looked through the list, found a friend’s name in blue, and selected it. The screened flashed the word “connecting…” for a few seconds, and then Devin saw the face of his friend Nick.


Nick was one of the few people who wasn’t a jerk to Devin, and greeted him with an excited, “What’s up, Dev?”

Devin answered with “Nothin’ much. Except for these things that came in the mail!”

“Yeah, I was gonna ask you if you got one, but you called me before I could call you. I guess everyone got one.”

“That’s what I kinda thought. So Nick, what do you think Leval-Shelay means?”

“I’m not sure. It’s probably just peoples’ last names. I’m gonna see what this thing can do. Bye, Dev.”

“Bye, Nick.”

Devin held the device in his hand with a feeling that it was something truly special that would change his and others’ lives forever. He just didn’t know how.

(part 3 tomorrow)

Linky Goodness 8/26

• If you're gonna paint a poodle, would it killya to paint it with the uniform of a team I don't completely despise? Gosh. (KSK)
• A look into the future? (Peerless)
• Red Sox minor leaguers Ryan Kalish, Luis Exposito, Dustin Richardson, and Chris Province are on the roster of the AFL (that's Arizona Fall League, not the Arena Fallen League) 's Mesa Solar Sox. (MLB)
• I guess I'm too young to understand why everyone thinks this is so unbelievably terrible. I mean, it's a bit overboard, but I kinda like it. By which I mean I'd get it if it was really cheap, which it probably isn't. (Lids)
• An ongoing look at the best Caps vanity plates. (Simply Sensational) 
• Obviously, Ted is proud that the Caps now are ranked as a Top-10 fanbase. At least in the opinion of some Wild blogger. (Ted's Take)
• And lastly, I, as a Sox fan, am glad we don't need these anymore. (breakthecursecookie)

"The Leval-Shelay Devices", Part 1

(OK, let's get this thing started off with a bang. In English class last year, we had an assignment where we wrote a sci-fi story. Naturally, I procrastinated until the weekend before it was due, but here it is. Though it's a short story, it's too long for one post, so I'll break it up into sections.)


It was the dog days of early August in Turner Hills, and Devin Rayburn had just Zapped home from the pool. He was still dripping wet because he hadn’t had a chance to dry off and change out of his hydrodynamic SwimSkin. He would have preferred to stay at the pool with some of his few friends longer, but unfortunately, it was his week to sort the mail.

Devin was the younger of Julien and Thelma Rayburn’s two children. To afford to live in the affluent, picturesque village of Turner Hills, Devin’s parents had to work long hours. They cared deeply for their children’s well-being, but weren’t able to be home enough to prove it. To their children, they came off as unloving and paranoid. They only had time to worry about whether their kids stayed out of trouble and did their chores.

Devin could have stayed at the pool if not for his parents’ insistence that the mail be sorted as soon as it arrives, which is always at 3 pm. When Devin saw the time, he had to run to one of the Zap public transport stations and teleport home. If Devin’s family hadn’t been so torn apart, his sister, who was already at home, could have sorted the mail. However, she was never willing to help Devin, and he was never willing to help her.

Her name was Julienne. Named for her father Julien, she always tried to make Devin feel bad. She’d tell him that she got most of their parents’ limited attention and that he was an unwanted burden who was to blame for their family’s struggles. It goes without saying that Devin tried to avoid her at all costs. So between his parents’ paranoid requirement that the mail get looked at as soon as it beams in so really urgent items could be found and his sister’s hatred of him, he had to hurry home to get the mail.

As he ran in the door, Devin heard the clock strike three and the buzz of the mail beaming in. He saw the mail appear on the kitchen table as always, but something was different. There were four small white boxes among the mail on the table. Each had a label reading “Leval-Shelay Enterprises” and was addressed to a different member of the Rayburn household. After Devin sorted the mail, careful not to get it wet, and changed into regular clothes, he opened the box addressed to “Mr. Devin Rayburn.” In it was a small metallic device with a screen. On the back were the words “Leval-Shelay Enterprises” and a fancy LS logo. Devin pressed the on button and a message appeared on the screen that read, “Free to the people of Turner Hills.” He pressed the icon that read “proceed” (because most devices had touchscreens now) and the next screen read “Anything is possible.”

(part 2 tomorrow)

Welcome to Chowdah Chatter!

Welcome to my blog. There isn't exactly a subject, even though many of the posts will be about sports. Some of my favorite writings (most of which from school) will also be on here.

(update: apparently the timestamps are Pacific time. I'll see what I can do about that)
(2nd update: Another purpose is to improve my writing/blogging skills)