It's Numbers! It's Hockey!

Out of curiosity, I decided to look up the goal and assist leaders for each team, and then find how many players would lead that team in goals and assists. In order of league standing (stats and records are up through Friday's games)-

Chicago Blackhawks (47 GP, 32-11-4, 68 Pts)
Goals leader- Patrick Kane (19)
Assists leader- Duncan Keith, Kane (33 each)
Players with 19+ goals, 33+ assists: Kane, Alex Ovechkin (29-33-62), Henrik Sedin (20-44-64), and Nicklas Backstrom (19-35-54).

San Jose Sharks (48 GP, 30-10-8, 68 Pts)
Goals leader- Patrick Marleau (31)
Assists leader- Joe Thornton (49)
Players with 31+ goals, 49+ assists: None. Marleau and Thornton lead the NHL in those respective categories.

New Jersey Devils (45 GP, 32-12-1, 65 Pts)
Goals leader- Zach Parise (20)
Assists leader- Jamie Langenbrunner (28)
Players with 20+ goals, 28+ assists: Ovechkin and Sedin.

Washington Capitals (47 GP, 29-12-6, 64 Pts)
Goals leader- Ovechkin (29)
Assists leader- Mike Green (36)
Players with 29+ goals, 36+ assists: None.

Buffalo Sabres (45 GP, 29-11-5, 63 Pts)
Goals leader- Thomas Vanek (12)
Assists leader- Tim Connolly (27)
Players with 12+ goals, 27+ assists: A lot. Thornton (12-49-61), Sedin, Brad Richards (13-40-53), Martin St. Louis (12-40-52), Green (12-36-48), Backstrom, Ovechkin, Kane, Ryan Getzlaf (12-33-45), Mikko Koivu (13-31-44), Evgeni Malkin (13-30-43), Nathan Horton (16-29-45), Ryan Kesler (12-29-41), Corey Perry (18-28-46), Langenbrunner (13-28-31), Sidney Crosby (30-27-57), Parise (20-27-47), and Anze Kopitar (18-27-45).

Nashville Predators (48 GP, 29-16-3, 61 Pts)
Goals leader- Patric Hornqvist (19)
Assists leader- J.P. Dumont (22)
Players with 19+ goals, 22+ assists: Crosby, Ovechkin, Marian Gaborik (28-26-54), Dany Heatley (27-25-52), Ilya Kovalchuk (27-24-51), Steven Stamkos (25-22-47), Sedin, Parise, Backstrom, Kane, Rick Nash (19-23-42), Stephen Weiss (19-23-42), and Alexander Semin (19-22-41).

Pittsburgh Penguins (49 GP, 30-18-1, 61 Pts)
Goals leader- Crosby (30)
Assists leader- Malkin (30)
Players with 30+ goals, 30+ assists: None.

Phoenix Coyotes (48 GP, 27-16-5, 59 Pts)
Goals leader- Radim Vrbata (14)
Assists leader- Matthew Lombardi (21)
Players with 14+ goals, 21+ assists: Crosby, Ovechkin, Gaborik, Heatley, Kovalchuk, Stamkos, Jarome Iginla (21-21-42), Sedin, Parise, Backstrom, Kane, Nash, Weiss, Semin, Perry, Kopitar, Loui Eriksson (18-26-44), Rene Bourque (17-21-38), Horton, Maxim Afinogenov (16-24-40), Jeff Carter (16-22-38), Wojtek Wolski (15-24-39), Patrick Sharp (15-21-36), Antoine Vermette (14-22-36), and Jonathan Toews (14-22-36).

Colorado Avalanche (47 GP, 26-15-6, 58 Pts)
Goals leader- Milan Hejduk (15)
Assists leader- Paul Stastny (33)
Players with 15+ goals, 33+ assists: Sedin, Backstrom, Ovechkin, and Kane.

Calgary Flames (48 GP, 26-16-6, 58 Pts)
Goals leader- Iginla (21)
Assists leader- Iginla (21)
Players with 21+ goals, 21+ assists: Iginla, Crosby, Ovechkin, Gaborik, Heatley, Kovalchuk, and Stamkos.

Vancouver Canucks (47 GP, 27-18-2, 56 Pts)
Goals leader- Sedin (20)
Assists leader- Sedin (44)
Players with 20+ goals, 44+ assists: Sedin.

Los Angeles Kings (47 GP, 26-18-3, 55 Pts)
Goals leader- Kopitar (18)
Assists leader- Kopitar (27)
Players with 18+ goals, 27+ assists: Kopitar, Crosby, Ovechkin, Sedin, Parise, Backstrom, Kane, and Perry.

Detroit Red Wings (46 GP, 24-16-6, 54 Pts)
Goals leader- Tomas Holmstrom (15)
Assists leader- Pavel Datsyuk (23)
Players with 15+ goals, 23+ assists: Ovechkin, Crosby, Gaborik, Heatley, Kovalchuk, Sedin, Parise, Backstrom, Kane, Weiss, Nash, Perry, Kopitar, Eriksson, Horton, Afinogenov, and Wolski.

Boston Bruins (46 GP, 23-16-7, 53 Pts)
Goals leader- Marco Sturm (15)
Assists leader- Zdeno Chara (23)
Players with 15+ goals, 23+ assists: Ovechkin, Crosby, Gaborik, Heatley, Kovalchuk, Sedin, Parise, Backstrom, Kane, Nash, Weiss, Perry, Kopitar, Eriksson, Horton, Afinogenov, and Wolski.

New York Rangers (47 GP, 22-18-7, 51 Pts)
Goals leader- Gaborik (28)
Assists leader- Gaborik (26)
Players with 28+ goals, 26+ assists: Gaborik, Ovechkin, and Crosby.

Minnesota Wild (48 GP, 24-21-3, 51 Pts)
Goals leader- Andrew Brunette, Koivu (13 each)
Assists leader- Koivu (31)
Players with 13+ goals, 31+ assists: Koivu, Sedin, B. Richards, Backstrom, Ovechkin, and Kane.

Ottawa Senators (48 GP, 23-21-4, 50 Pts)
Goals leader- Milan Michalek (16)
Assists leader- Daniel Alfredsson (22)
Players with 16+ goals, 22+ assists: Crosby, Ovechkin, Gaborik, Heatley, Kovalchuk, Stamkos, Sedin, Parise, Backstrom, Kane, Nash, Weiss, Semin, Perry, Kopitar, Eriksson, Horton, Afinogenov, and Carter.

Montreal Canadiens (48 GP, 23-21-4, 50 Pts)
Goals leader- Michael Cammalleri (21)
Assists leader- Tomas Plekanec (36)
Players with 21+ goals, 36+ assists: None.

Philadelphia Flyers (46 GP, 23-20-3, 49 Pts)
Goals leader- Mike Richards (19)
Assists leader- Chris Pronger (26)
Players with 19+ goals, 26+ assists: Ovechkin, Crosby, Gaborik, Sedin, Parise, Backstrom, and Kane.

Dallas Stars (47 GP, 19-17-11, 49 Pts)
Goals leader- James Neal (19)
Assists leader- B. Richards (40)
Players with 19+ goals, 40+ assists: Sedin.

Anaheim Ducks (48 GP, 21-20-7, 49 Pts)
Goals leader- Bobby Ryan (20)
Assists leader- Getzlaf (33)
Players with 20+ goals, 33+ assists: Ovechkin and Sedin.

New York Islanders (47 GP, 20-19-8, 48 Pts)
Goals leader- Matt Moulson (17)
Assists leader- Kyle Okposo (21)
Players with 17+ goals, 21+ assists: Crosby, Ovechkin, Gaborik, Heatley, Kovalchuk, Stamkos, Iginla, Sedin, Parise, Backstrom, Kane, Nash, Weiss, Semin, Perry, Kopitar, Eriksson, and Bourque.

Atlanta Thrashers (46 GP, 20-19-7, 47 Pts)
Goals leader- Kovalchuk (27)
Assists leader- Tobias Enstrom (33)
Players with 27+ goals, 33+ assists: Ovechkin.

St. Louis Blues (46 GP, 20-19-7, 47 Pts)
Goals leader- Andy McDonald (14)
Assists leader- Brad Boyes (22)
Players with 14+ goals, 22+ assists: Ovechkin, Crosby, Gaborik, Stamkos, Heatley, Kovalchuk, Sedin, Parise, Backstrom, Kane, Nash, Weiss, Semin, Perry, Kopitar, Eriksson, Horton, Afinogenov, Carter, Wolski, Vermette, and Toews.

Tampa Bay Lightning (46 GP, 18-18-10, 46 Pts)
Goals leader- Stamkos (25)
Assists leader- St. Louis (40)
Players with 25+ goals, 40+ assists: None.

Florida Panthers (47 GP, 19-20-8, 46 Pts)
Goals leader- Weiss (19)
Assists leader- Horton (29)
Players with 19+ goals, 29+ assists: Ovechkin, Sedin, Backstrom, and Kane.

Columbus Blue Jackets (49 GP, 18-22-9, 45 Pts)
Goals leader- Nash (19)
Assists leader- Nash (23)
Players with 19+ goals, 23+ assists: Nash, Crosby, Ovechkin, Heatley, Kovalchuk, Gaborik, Sedin, Parise, Backstrom, Kane, and Weiss.

Toronto Maple Leafs (49 GP, 16-24-9, 41 Pts)
Goals leader- Niklas Hagman (16)
Assists leader- Tomas Kaberle (35)
Players with 16+ goals, 35+ assists: Sedin and Backstrom.

Edmonton Oilers (46 GP, 16-25-5, 37 Pts)
Goals leader- Dustin Penner (21)
Assists leader- Penner, Lubomir Visnovsky (20 each)
Players with 21+ goals, 20+ assists: Penner, Ovechkin, Crosby, Gaborik, Heatley, Kovalchuk, Stamkos, and Iginla.

Carolina Hurricanes (46 GP, 14-25-7, 35 Pts)
Goals leader- Ray Whitney (14)
Assists leader- Joni Pitkanen (20)
Players with 14+ goals, 20+ assists: Crosby, Ovechkin, Gaborik, Heatley, Kovalchuk, Stamkos, Penner, Sedin, Parise, Backstrom, Kane, Nash, Weiss, Semin, M. Richards, Perry, Kopitar, Eriksson, Bourque, Horton, Afinogenov, Carter, Wolski, Sharp, Vermette, and Toews.

# Of players who would lead that team in goals and assists (including players on that team):
0- SJ (2nd in NHL), WSH (4th), PIT (7th), MTL (18th), TB (25th)
1- VAN (11th), DAL (20th), ATL (23rd)
2- NJ (3rd), ANA (21st), TOR (28th)
3- NYR (15th)
4- CHI (1st), COL (9th), FLA (26th)
6- MIN (16th)
7- CGY (10th), PHI (19th)
8- LA (12th), EDM (29th)
11- CBJ (27th)
13- NSH (6th)
17- DET (13th), BOS (14th)
18- BUF (5th), NYI (22nd)
19- OTT (17th)
22- STL (24th)
25- PHX (8th)
26- CAR (30th)

So those are the stats, and there isn't much of a correlation between wins and number of players who would lead that team in Gs and As. Since I probably won't get around to an in-depth analysis, anyone who wants to is completely welcome to do so.

Chowdah's Definitions

In the style of Joy of Sox and other blogs, I've decided to create a glossary of terms that may or may not be used in my writing. It will be updated when the need arises.

Aftermath- Spanish 1 Honors

Happy Feet- Felix Pie, because Felix is Latin for happy and Pie is Spanish for foot.

Minor League Axis of Evil- Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, because the Yankees' AAA team is the SWB Yanks and the Pens' AHL affiliate is the WBS Penguins.

RIITOT- It's not a Finnish word, it stands for Random Idea I'm Throwing Out There.

SNG (Sameish Name Guy)- Niklas Backstrom, the Wild's goalie, who coincidentally is Finnish. (Helpful link that no, I did not create)

Soxitals/Yankguins- All that is good/evil.

An SNG visual aid (which upon posting I realized was a bit cut off. Oh well.)

Oreo Magic

I'm back! I was gonna post a baseball story I wrote back in (I think) 5th grade, but it was probably deleted years ago. (Hmmm.... 5th grade? Maybe I did care about sports before middle school...) [update 12/30: actually, it may have been 7th grade, but who gives a crap?] Anyway, a while back I wrote a parody of "Orioles Magic", an old O's anthem. As the title suggests, it's about Oreos.

Something magic happens

when you eat them up

You make the magic happen,

the magic of oreo cookies

When it's time for a snack

and you want oreos

There's a thundering roar from your tummy

to eat all you've got

And you never know

how many that you'll eat

When you eat one, you want more,

that's the magic of oreo cookies

Oreo Magic! Feel it happen!

Oreo Magic! Feel it happen!

O-R-E-O-S!

Magic! Magic! Magic! Magic!

Something magic happens

when you eat them up

You make the magic happen,

the magic of oreo cookies

When you tear open the pack

and you eat them up

Nothing could be more exciting,

nothing could be more fun!

There's a love affair

between you and oreos

There's a reason you eat oreos

It's 'cause you know what the magic means

Oreo Magic! Feel it happen (x4)

O-R-E-O-S!

Magic! (x4)

Oreo Magic! Feel it happen!

Magic! (x4)

Something magic happens...

Awesomeness

Yesterday, I was at Sunday School and saw an awesome poster lying around. Ya see, I'm a student aide in the 3rd grade Hebrew class, which meets in what is a social studies classroom during the week. (Coincidentally, the high school where my Sunday School meets is my actual high school- so I go there 6 days a week). While aiding, I noticed a poster with some Capitals pictures on it. I'm pretty sure it was a project for a sociology class, and here's what it said:

(In big letters): OVECHKIN
Tribe: Emveepea
Clan: Eagle
Primary Food Source: Penguins
Housing: Verizon Center
Weapons: Slap Shot and Wrister
Colors: Red and Blue
Clothing: #8 Jersey

I have no idea what the requirements for the project were, but this deserves an A. For Awesome. And since I left a complementary sticky note with my name and grade- maybe, just maybe, I could get an interview (but probably not, especially since I don't personally know the person who made it, and she's not in my grade)

[Update 10/27: The project (for a class/unit about Native Americans) was to pick a real Indian and fill out the above categories. After doing that project, the student made a Caps-themed one because the teacher is a Penguins fan. The poster I saw lying on the shelf is a year or two old; the teacher kept it, and the girl who made it has since gone on to college.]

Random Idea I'm Throwing Out There: Ump Tourney

Ironically, this was used on insidesocal.com last April. April! It's not from this postseason, but from APRIL! Then again, umps get villainized regardless of month.  

Well, the MLB playoffs aren't going too well. And not just because my Red Sox got swept and the hated Yankees are in the World Series (and on that note, Go Phils!). There have been a lot of blown calls this postseason, and the issue has gotten a lot of media attention. Everyone knows (and has to accept) that umps are human and thus not perfect, but there do seem to have been a relatively high number of bad calls lately. With something as important as a championship on the line (as well as all the media coverage and scrutiny that comes along with the playoffs), Major League Baseball has taken action- they've changed the World Series umpiring crew to have umps with more experience.

This brings up an idea- what about having the best umps in the regular season call playoff games, the same way that the best teams make the postseason? Instant replay and strike zone technologies can be used to evaluate umps, so how 'bout sending the most consistent/accurate regular season umpires to the postseason crews? (Of course, it's not that simple, but the main idea sounds okay in theory) And it doesn't even have to stop there- the best umps during a particular round of the playoffs could go on to call the next round (except that 3-7 games is a way too small sample size for umps).

Do these ideas sound ridiculous? Or does this seem like it could be plausible after necessary minor (and major) details are worked out? And why am I asking questions on a blog that hardly anyone reads?  

Fun With Google Translate, Part 1 of ?

Today's edition of FWGT focuses on sports quotes, and what happens when they're translated to (I dunno, let's say German) and back a few times. (Quotes from BrainyQuote)

"We talked to the referees before the game; there's always new situations to adjust, for the refs and for us as well. Even on the ice, it's good for players to talk and interact with the referee." --Peter Bondra
Translated to German and back once- "We spoke with the referee before the game, there are always new situations to adapt to the referee and also for us. Also on the ice, it's good for players to talk and interact with the referee."

Okay, so that's pretty close to the original. Let's try another:


Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. --Yogi Berra
Translated to Finnish and back once- "Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they will not come to you."
Twice- same translation

"A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore." --Yogi Berra
Icelandic and back once- "A nickel is not worth a dime anymore."

Wow. The translation is more grammatically correct than the original.

"We picked the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something that loses for 86 years, you're a pretty good fan. You don't have to win everything to be a fan of something." --Jimmy Fallon
Greek and back once- "We chose the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something lost for 86 years, you are very good fan. We need to win everything to be a fan of something."
Twice- "We chose the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something lost for 86 years, will be very good fan. We can win everything to be a fan of something."

Well, that definitely changed the meaning of the last sentence.

And last: "You know, a lot of people say they didn't want to die until the Red Sox won the World Series. Well, there could be a lot of busy ambulances tomorrow." --Johnny "Benedict" Damon 
Hindi and back once- "You know, a lot of people say they win the World Series until red sox did not want to die. Well, there could be a very busy ambulances tomorrow."
Twice- "You know, a lot of people say they win the World Series until the red sox did not want to die. Okay, there could be a very busy ambulances tomorrow."

Wait- I win the World Series until the Red Sox don't want to die? What?!?

"The Leval-Shelay Devices", Complete Version

(When I originally posted this story, I didn't know how to add a "jump". So here's the story in its entirety, because splitting it up can make it kinda confusing to read.)